Marvel Events Don't Mean Anything Anymore...

I wanted to write a review of Marvel’s Original Sin event, but as I was writing it came to me that the storyline didn’t lead to much. Nothing major happened or changed for a majority of the marvel characters to take back into their solo books. Marvel’s comic book events as of late have had no lasting effects on the comic book universe.

Once, maybe twice, a year there is a Marvel comic book event that is crammed into our faces with crazy amounts of marketing and solicitation. Every event promises change and I’m sitting here like a black union soldier waiting for my 40 acres and a mule.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying these new events are bad reading. On the contrary they are a good reading and a fun ride but they lack what I value most in a book. Avengers Disassembled, House of M, Civil War, Secret Invasion, and Siege were great event because of the darker times that followed them. In between these events characters dealt with the fall out of the events in their solo books. That doesn’t seem to happen anymore except in the X-Books.

After Avengers Disassembled, the Avengers were forced to recruit again when the Scarlet Bitch went ape shit and killed off the Vision, Hawkeye, Ant-Man (the one the didn’t beat his wife) and Jack-of-Who gives a fuck. They picked up fan favorites like Wolverine and Spider-Man.

The X-Books were reenergized with fresh stories after Houseof M as the Scarlet Witch slashed the mutant population lower than the price of gram of seeds and stems.

Civil War split the Avenger’s down the middle, killed Cap Lee Harvey Oswald style, promoted Iron Man to top cop and most importantly reminded us how far the New Warriors had fallen. (RIP Namorita and Night Thrasher)

Secret Invasion bankrupted Tony Stark, Crippled S.H.I.E.L.D., killed off the Wasp, and some how some way Norman Osborne came out on top (Where the fuck did he come from?); leading to the Dark Reign where the Marvel villains called the shots for one whole year. 

In Siege, the heroes band together after years of bickering to bring down Osborne and save Asgard. Sentry and Ares take a dirt nap, nobody cares, and Nick Fury comes out of hiding.

And here’s where the problems start… Every event after Siege is garbage as nothing of consequence happens.

The Heroic Age followed and brought everything back to the light hearted status quo before Avengers Disassembled. Cap’s back, everyone forgot how much of a dick Iron Man was, and Spider-Man sold his redhead to get his secret identity back. There were no consequences or backlash from what happened because the bad guys were the last ones to get their asses kicked in Siege.

Fear Itself was a total fucking cop-out as there was no consequence from anything that happened. I think bullet points will help here:
  • Thor kills the Thing … Franklin Richards revives him in the SAME FUCKING ISSUE!
  • Thor kills his uncle and in turn dies himself… HE'S RESURRECTED IN THE EPILOGUE!
  • Paris is turned to stone by the grey gargoyle and guess what... EPILOGUE!
Are you getting the picture here…

Avengers vs. X-Men is next as Wolverine goes crying to the Avengers after he finds out the Phoenix that’s coming to earth isn’t Jean. The teams duke it out and eventually Cyclops kills Professor X (oops!) and at the end of the book comes the resurgence of the mutant population.

But not Age of Ultron... In which Ultron isn’t even the villain. Readers just get lame exposition of how the universe is collapsing from too much time travel and Galactus leaves the 616 to prey on the Ultimate universe that no one gives a fuck about anymore. Oh and Marvel now has convenient way to get Spawn’s Angela into the universe.

Infinity, I’m sure stood for the amount of story lines that were going on in this year long event. I don’t know where to start as Avengers fought in a space war, while on Earth Thanos is looking for his son, somehow the Inhumans are involved and miraculously the Avengers make it back in time to beat Thanos. What we got out of infinity… more Inhumans and the absent son of Thanos.

Original Sin lacks consequence as well. There are three consequences from this book and only one has any significance. The watcher is killed… Who cares? If you have an argument for the importance of the Watcher that has to do with story progression leave it in the comment section and I’ll gladly ignore it. Nick fury dies and then comes back as some sort of new watcher called the unseen. The only thing of interest at the end of Original sin was Thor losing the ability to lift his hammer. This is the type long-term consequence I love. It changes a character for the better and now it’s impossible to ignore the events of Original Sin in Thor’s solo book.

From what I’m seeing of marvel’s new event Axis and its subsequent solicitations, there are a lot of changes and consequences. Heroes and villains will supposedly shift paradigms.  Let’s hope for the best… Until then Make Mine Marvel!

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