With the 20th anniversary of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers upon us, I’ve realized that my love of the original show had nothing to do with campy action or Kung Fu fighting. It’s the 3 dimensional depth of these seemingly 2D characters and the extremely f**ked up situations that Zordon put them into day after day that drew me in. I tend to relate anything fantasy or sci-fi to real life, if this sh*t can’t be logically put into reality, then it doesn’t resonate with me. With that being said, as a kid I always thought, “How can Jason concentrate on homework when he has the power to call a twenty story metallic dinosaur to reign down destruction?” Beyond the initial coolness of Look I Have Super Powers, there’s some serious child endangerment going on in Angel Grove that laid the seeds for an epic tragedy. Power Rangers was about a group of kids who never got a fair shot at real life.
This is their story… this is their ending.
The Way I saw It: Origin of Evil
So this ghost in a tube called Zordon came to earth after battling Rita Repulsa in some galactic civil war. Somehow this dude with no f**king hands builds a command center, a robot with an annoying voice, some power coins, and giant metal dinosaurs. Money, material, who pays the electric bill, none of this is ever explained, all we know is that Zordon has more bank than the entire Cash Money Young Money Roster, and is stockpiling Weapons of Mass Destruction for some reason. Years later Rita Repulsa pops up from a trash can (huh?) and declares war on earth. What the hell did we do to Rita? Humans were just beginning to understand how to wipe their ass with something other than a hand during your galactic war. For reasons that no one bothers to ask or research, Rita is pissed off at our planet. Zordon wakes up ready for war, but despite having created color coded WMD’s he’s useless, so he needs an army to do his dirt. Now you have to realize, Zordon can give these new powers to anyone—Navy Seals, Special Forces, Chuck Norris, but he chooses some teenagers from the local Jamba Juice. Maybe his teleporter didn’t work that far or he had a thing for teenage ass, I don’t know.
So Zordon the intergalactic Warlord who doesn't even bother to give us the backstory on his planet or why Rita is so mad, tells this racially diverse group of students that some Asian chick from outer space with a gold monkey is attacking Angel Grove. Yup, not New York, not Hong Kong, but some little beach town in Southern California that doesn't even have a minor league baseball team. I mean Buffy’s Sunnydale was built on a Hellmouth, which explained the demonic activity. Angel Grove seemed built for the sole purpose of having a Youth Center that assured Bulk and Skull wouldn't end up selling Meth. Whatever, these are kids, they don’t know that they should ask questions before going out to murder people (Putties have souls damn it!). Zordon feeds these naïve teens some propaganda, gives them power coins, and without any instruction they scream, “It’s Morphin Time!”, and go put in work. Thus the legend began…
You spend three years of your high school life avoiding death on a daily basis, then suddenly Zordon tires of you and brings in new Power Rangers. Imagine the shock. That’s like Lebron James winning the state championship then being told by the Governor of Ohio he’s banned from hoops, go find something else to do in life. Zordon is a user; he set each one of the Power Rangers up for failure, and then told them to kick rocks. The Power Rangers had no other friends and spent all day either at school or at the damn YMCA drinking protein shakes and practicing Karate. The Ranger’s parents (who apparently gave zero f**ks) probably thought they were on drugs or in a cult, because they were never home. Understand that being a Ranger meant there was never any time for homework or studying, none of those kids scored high on the SAT, so bye bye Stanford… so long Harvard. Angel Grove community college was destroyed like twenty times, so It’s a safe bet that none of the Rangers continued their education at the site of so many traumatic events. So after high school what’s left of these kids mentally? Post traumatic stress disorder. If you were attacked by Putties and giant insects 5 days out of the week, you wouldn't just forget that. A gold monkey slashed you with a sword and knocked you out of a 30-story robot—you have to take more than Tylenol PM to sleep at night. It was fun when they had invincible power, now Zack, Trini, Jason, Kimberley, Billy, and Tommy are left to live in a world they saved, but don’t understand.
20 Years Later: Where Are They Now
Billy: The way I see it, Billy has to be the first one to snap. It’s 20 years later, he’s a 34 year old substitute teacher who never found a
man woman that was
right for him. Spends all his times trolling Power Ranger fan sites, telling
anyone that the Turbo Rangers were a bunch of no talent pu$$ies. Driven further
into madness Billy comes up with a plan. If a piece of sperm in a tube could
create power coins, so could he…
Kimberly: The first one to burn out and quit being a Ranger, K. Hart, as she likes to be called now, never did make it as a gymnast, her knees wrecked from years of battling monsters, it robbed her of any dreams of being an Olympian. K. Hart now lives in the OC, waiting tables, while trying to write her memoirs: It Ain’t Easy Being Pink: My Life As A Power Ranger.
Jason: Jason has a lot of demons. If you recall the Red, Yellow, and Black Rangers were the first to be replaced under suspicious circumstances. Having been banished from his home by Zordon under the guise of going to a World Peace Conference, he, Zack, and Trini were actually sent to a chaos dimension as punishment for wanting to vacate their Ranger powers. Jason of course made amends with the Warlord Zordon, and was allowed to return as the Gold Ranger. But once again he finds himself powerless and nearing age 40. Twice divorced and behind on the bills, Jason has taken to underground MMA fights, an easy way to get that old rush back and make enough money to support his pain pill addiction, the result of years of taking abuse for this retched city.
Zack: After being freed from the chaos dimension, Zack got as far away from Angel Grove as possible. Finally ending up in Texas where he became a born again Christian. But Zacks faith would soon be tested as his dance skills became noticed and the bright lights of Hollywood called him. Choreographing dozens of Pop music videos, Zack was riding high, but those dreams of Goldar beating his ass never left. With no family support, Zack lost himself in the Hollywood party scene and the white lines of nose candy.
Trini: Nearly catatonic after escaping the chaos dimension, Trini internalized the most. She moved to San Francisco where she gave birth to a child. The Post-Partum combined with the horror of her teenage years were too much to bear. Trini took her own life… but she did leave behind one note, which she mailed to Zack in Los Angeles the night of her suicide, “take care of our daughter. She must never know the pain of Angel Grove.”
Tommy: Having stayed in Zordon’s good graces until the warlord’s death (See Power Rangers In Space), Tommy has remained a part of the Ranger family, as well as made himself a very rich man, opening up Juice Bars and Martial Arts Schools along the west coast. Married to a beautiful wife, with one son and another on the way, life is good.
The Fall of Angel Grove: You Did This To Us!
After years of working in secret, Billy has finally rebuilt the Command Center, and reverse engineered the Power Coin technology. He beams the original rangers into the command center to tell them his plan. Jason, Zack, and Kimberly are pissed, they tried to forget this Power Rangers trauma, and here they are back where it first started. Billy tells them that he’s been keeping tabs on them for the past five years, and he feels their pain. It’s not a warm reunion as tensions are still raw after the death of Trini. No one but Zack came to the funeral, and Tommy the rich smug bastard, had the nerve to send Yellow Roses. Billy quickly quiets the gang and tells them that it’s not their fault that their lives turned out sh*t. It was Zordon’s fault... It’s always been Zordon’s f**king fault!
Billy has finally figured out why Rita, Zedd, and the rest of the galaxy was so hell built on destroying Angel Grove. Downtown Angel Grove was built on an intergalactic gateway, a secret tunnel buried centuries ago, for use if the home world were ever destroyed. Zordon’s race, The Eltarians were a Nazi like band of conquerors who lost the 2 thousand year war. Since then the Eltarian Cabal have been amassing a new army and slowly but steadily opening the gateway from below Angel Grove. The Power Rangers weren’t created To stop evil, they were guardians meant to safeguard the portal and insure that Zordon’s civilization would have a new home to rule over.
Stunned by the news, K. Hart breaks down in tears, she demands that Billy teleport Tommy to the command center, he will know what to do. Billy breaks the news that Tommy already knew what Zordon really was, he became conscious of Zordon’s master plan the moment he became the so called Evil Green Ranger. In order to keep his powers and later to become the White Ranger, Tommy made a deal with the devil Zordon; he would keep his secret if he kept his power. Jason is floored, he always knew Tommy was a son of a bitch, this confirms it. Zack is having a mental breakdown, he’s coming down from a cocaine high and can’t deal. Billy calms him down by giving him a shot, which takes the edge off.
Red, Pink, Black, and Blue, Billy holds up the power coins and ask if they are ready to destroy Angel Grove and save the world. Jason reminds him that they need to find a yellow Ranger, maybe that black chick Aiesha; she was cool and had a banging body back in the day. Billy has found a new Yellow Ranger and steps aside, Enter 16 year old Zhang, Zack and Trini’s daughter conceived when they were at the World Peace Conference aka The Chaos Dimension. Zhang is already in a yellow ranger suit and looks similar to her mother. Zack embraces his daughter and promise to do better. Billy hands out the power coins and the rangers take their familiar stance. This will be their last mission. Either they destroy Angel Grove, or the world will eventually feel the wrath of the Zordon’s master race. K. Hart reminds them that Tommy and the new Rangers will be there to stop them... Zack smiles, “Let those mother—ers try!”
..Jason steps in front of the team and screams for the final time in his life, “It’s Morphin Time!”